Not Just A Crush
by SakuraSyaoran4eva
Summary: Geometry class, Dawn reflects on how she's always felt about Spike and why she doesn't show it. Angst. Might continue not sure.


Title: Not Just A Crush

Pairing: SpikeDawn

Disclaimer: Don't own it, just the actual content.

Spoilers: Up to the beginning of season seven

Summary: Dawn and Spike aren't just friends, they're real. Spike loves her like his little sister but Dawn, well – we all know she's complicated. So, this is just a piece explaining what she really feels for Spike.

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Not Just A Crush…

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Dawn Summers, sophomore at Sunnydale High, sat in geometry doodling little hearts into her notebook. The teacher was lecturing and she ought to take notes – but whatever.

'Spike & Dawn 4ever' read the little hearts. Dawn frowned down at them. Like that would ever be. She knew he loved Buffy, yet she'd been in love with him since the day they'd met.

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Ten-year-old Dawn sat on the stairs, peering at the strange man through the bars. He'd walked in with her sister and – wow…

She giggled softly. She hadn't been able to take her eyes off of him since he'd arrived!

This was probably what Buffy meant when she'd talked about 'crushes' in her diary.

The man, now alone in the living room, had obviously heard her giggling and now looked deeply interested. He smirked, then his face changed into that of a demon's. His forehead grew ridges, eyebrows disappeared, eyes flashed yellow and fangs grew in place of incisor teeth. Her eyes widened.

"Wow…" She whispered with awe. "He's so beautiful." The man had apparently not expected such a reaction. He immediately changed back and got up, walking over to the stairs.

"Hey little luv," he glanced around, then leaned in to whisper conspiratorially, "interested in livin' for an eternity or two?" She tilted her head to the side, confused.

"Why would I want that – I mean, think about it," She tried to explain. "You'd just keep getting older and older and your skin would get icky and you'd look like those old people and," She shuddered. "It'd be so gross." The man laughed.

" 'Course nibbles, nobody'd want that." She nodded. He raised an eyebrow at her. "It's past midnight. I'm thinkin' you ought to be in bed, my little kitten." Nodding as he smirked at her, Dawn hurried to bed – thinking about her new crush.

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But it hadn't been just a crush. She'd fallen in love with him that night - Dawn knew that now. Just like she knew that he loved Buffy.

She couldn't help but smile bitterly.

'Just my luck – I fall in love with a guy who's in love with my sister.' After all, he had gotten a soul for Buffy, hadn't he?

Yet, sometimes Dawn liked to pretend that maybe – just maybe – a little bit of the soul was for her. But she knew it really wasn't. She frowned, remembering when he'd returned after being gone the entire summer.

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"You sleep, don't you?" Dawn demanded, staring at the newly ensouled vampire through hurt eyes. He nodded in response, looking confused.

"Then remember," Her voice was low, even. "If you hurt her – I can't fight you – but I can stake you in your sleep." Spike looked shocked, obviously taken back at her sudden coldness towards him. He nodded then turned and walked away.

Dawn struggled to keep from breaking down. Didn't he understand? The 'her' she didn't want him to hurt was herself. And her threat had absolutely nothing to do with Buffy whatsoever. What she didn't understand was how he could hurt her by just leaving without so much of a 'bye' for an entire summer.

But then again, he would never know of her love for him.

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A single tear slid down her face, landing on the paper and effectively smudging the 'Dawn' in 'Spike & Dawn 4ever'. Dawn sniffled, eyes tearing up even more at the implication.

"Miss. Summers, are you alright?" She looked up to see the teacher watching her with a worried expression.

"Huh? Oh no," She shook her head, wiping her eyes and smiling painfully. "It's just allergies." Accepting the answer, the teacher moved on.

Dawn quickly ripped the paper out and crumpled it up; she had no idea what she'd do if Buffy or anyone else found it. She had to take notes so that she wouldn't fail tomorrow's test. Spike had promised her that he'd take her to the arcade if she got a seventy or higher.

And she'd be sure to get a hundred tomorrow. He'd be so proud of her and she'd take whatever she could get. She wasn't stupid as to try to 'get over him'. She knew that what she felt for him was love…not just a crush.

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A/N: All kinds of criticism are appreciated. Flames will be laughed at, so if you want, send them in anyways. Just press the little button that says 'submit review'.

SS4EVA


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